Midnight Cowgirl

Captain's Log: January 21, 2014

Top Ten Signs the Former Tenant Was a Lady of the Evening (a soiled dove, if you will)

1. Cash wadded up in the toilet tank
(seriously! did she learn that from Pretty Woman?)

2. Condoms, condoms, condoms galore!
(red ones, purple ones, glow-in-the-dark ones! Ribbed ones, little ones, magnum not P.I. ones!)

3. Knee-high boots of the shiny gold variety
(Wonder Woman costume? A girl can dream. I checked and those were red.)

4. T-Mobile strip tease
(cell phone picture album... full of nudes! advertisements? naughty phone sex aids?)

5. Homemade business cards
("luxury service provider"... ha! I doubt she was detailing their cars!)

6. Pleather skirt
('nuff said!)

7. Frequent, late-nite calls from mystery numbers
(do I answer? heck no!)

8. Strange dude in ball cap timidly rapping on the door
(NOT the front door... who uses a fire escape? customers, that's who!)

9. Three, count 'em, three tube tops
(what is this, the county fair?!)

10. TOPICAL CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I'm not kidding, it's IN the medicine cabinet!)

This is Hannah, signing off.